Why My Silence?

After expanding my blogging. I've been compelled to neglect them. Why?

I have a February deadline for my novel. It's then I must hand it in to my writers' group for review. The rest of my writing time is being taken up in work that will pay. I can't divulge that one, yet. But it's far quicker done than the novel and should produce a steady, modest income. I'm tired of living on the edge, of having no breathing space in my budget. I'm tired of feeling stressed every time I spend $20, of walking my neighborhood and automatically checking out squats where I might live if I became homeless.

For the last week, I've been working from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. And I mean I schedule all my time. I've put together a work-day routine and everything I do and the time that I do it is all written out.

I do schedule days off, about one day a week, but those turn out to be just as busy. Yesterday, I borrowed my sister's truck to run essential errands. I went to four different grocery stores, the library and the drug store. This week I have a major medical test, and that's going to entail one, maybe two days off.  Not really fun.

At the end of it, I took my Dad to the barber. This meant I had to run on a tight schedule. I wrote out exactly how long it would take me to make each and every stop, and I executed it like clockwork. Ten minutes before he had to leave, he walked in the door and told me I'm very punctual. He asked me to call the next time and let him know I was actually coming, even though we arranged it. He's not used to his offspring being on time. It wouldn't have mattered if I called him. He told me he would have called me but the phones weren't working. They were both cordless and out of power. I pointed out it wouldn't have done a lot of good for me to call, then, would it?

My Dad's in his eighties now. He never rehabbed very well from his knee surgery, and he walks with great difficulty. He also has a bad ankle and his hip needs replacing, however, after watching how badly he handled knee replacement, his doctor is reluctant to do any more surgery.   

But of course I do have more flexibility in my days off than anyone with a "real" job. I just don't have any money to do anything.

My writers' group has a special event this week: one of the best SF writers is honoring us with a visit: 2013 Hugo, Nebula and Arthur C. Clark award winning writer Ann Leckie is visiting our meeting this week. I have a special reading chosen, a passage that's already been vetted by the group to see if she has any improvement to suggest above and beyond theirs.

Ms. Leckie is the creator of the Imperial Radch series. The first book, Ancillary Justice, won all the awards. Not bad for a first novel. I'm midway through it now. It's not an easy read. 

http://www.annleckie.com/

From Wikipedia

The truly odd thing for me: I knew her thirty-four years ago when she was in high school. (I was in my twenties early twenties.) She had a crush on my youngest brother!

I'm following the Ferguson protest with vexation and sadness. There was a shooting tonight. I have sympathy with both the cause and the protesters. I have friends there, David Wraith, Alaina and David Bell. Their accounts on FB says the police in Ferguson are deploying a new, heavier arsenal of weapons. Alaina describes the mace as something stronger, like "animal mace."

And now there's been a shooting. It sounds like things are going badly. I'm not going to say I hope the protesters are okay, but it sounds like they're not. I hope Ferguson dis-incorporates for this and the PD gets sued into oblivion.   

I wish I could help, but I'm penniless, car-less, and time-less on six medications with bad side effects if I can't get my doses, such as if I'm in jail. And I'm not as young as I used to be. I admire the bravery of my friends and the rest of the protesters.

And I'm under deadline, with a project that's in its sixth year. I figure I could contribute more later, when my name is, possibly, known. As they were protesting in Ferguson, I was working a 14 hour day. They're work is extremely important, but only I can write my book.