Neighborly Stuff & Things

My next door neighbor locked himself out for the third time, and twice in one week. I broke in for him twice.

This last time he knocked on my door late at night, stranded outside. All his windows were locked, so we either had to break the glass, or he needed a locksmith.

The previous time, earlier in the week, I went in through the back window. There was a time in that situation when he was talking to me while he stood on a retaining wall that surrounded the basement door. I was scared to death he was going to fall over backward ten feet to his death. After my heart skipped a few beats, I told him I'd handle it. The window was about eight feet up. That retaining wall didn't quite do it. We didn't have a ladder, so we stacked up some furniture his female-friend/squatter left when she arrested. So, I a flimsy plastic chair on top of a living room table, which was at least sturdy to hoist myself in while he stabilized it. I'm well into middle-age, and my weight is not very well-adjusted. That was some heavy arm exercise there. At the end my heart was racing like a jackrabbit, and part of it had been fear of falling back.

To explain, that time he locked his keys in his bedroom. He could into his apartment, but he couldn't get into his bedroom, or bathroom, or lock his front door. You might ask, why instead of doing something dangerous, did I not just pick the bedroom lock? Yes, that would have been smart. The risk of grave injury was too thrilling.

But getting back to the last time, he locked himself out completely, late at night. His keys fell out of a tear in his grocery bag. He asked me if he could sleep in my foyer-living room-office-dining room. I didn't really answer him, I just called a Pop-a-Lock. I put it on my card, loaning him $115 on the spot. It took a minute and a half for the lock smith to open it. He was eight minutes a way. So, he charges at a rate of $690 an hour. Just saying, that was a very lucrative ten minutes for the lock guy, and I was grateful for every second.

I make my neighbor sound bad, but there's an explanation for him. He was a very skilled, prominent musician before he came down with throat cancer, which he survived. He's in his mid-sixties now, and like everyone on Earth, he's never been that old. He's probably also never been so poor. I suggested that he carry spare keys.

He's supposed to pay me back. I don't have money to spare like that, but I'm giving generous terms to pay back, more generous than he offered. I know how debt is.