My doctor is raising my ADHD medication. I thought it was maximum before, but apparently, there's a step above, and I'm being elevated to it.
With ADHD, distraction is the nemesis of my life. It's the principal reason I'm not more productive as a writer. Lately my symptoms have become worse. It's why I can't get writing done. They're not just a direct time drain, but the fear that I might forget what I'm doing, which happens frequently. This is why I write everything down, what I'm doing and what I've done. I've been keeping a Daybook to see where my time is going because I can't remember at the end of the day.
What are these distractions? First, there's the obvious environmental stresses everybody's feeling now: the epidemic, the economy, and Trump. Or the ones they should be feeling. Then there's my family crisis concerning my brother. I've already written enough about that.
Then there's another personal problem: my cat. She's been over-grooming if you want to call it that. It's more like she's a cutter. She's skinning her back with her bristly, cat-of-one-tongue. I've tried various ways of getting her to stop, de-fleaing her, of course, and changing her food and litter in case she's allergic. I've tried giving her canned food, on the theory she might be missing the flavor of real meat. Nothing works. Now she bothers me for food every morning like a real cat. Not only does skinning herself seem to give her no pain, but--being a cat--she has neither any empathy nor any understanding of it. Empathy is an evolutionary disadvantage to a pure carnivore species. It's very likely her compulsion literally hurts me more than it does her. After initially letting myself get very upset over it, I decided just to accept it. She'll do it. I don't take it personally anymore. However, it might still affect me unconsciously.
Other sources of stress arise from my own choices. It's usually some aggravating tech problem. They happen at a rate of at least every day. The recent example: my browser hangs after I wake up my PC in the morning. I usually run about a dozen windows at a time, so shutting it down and rebooting takes some time. I tried to find another remedy to it. I've traced it to my browser, not my router, nor my network card because other browsers work just fine. I still haven't found a remedy it, except by rebooting. I would go to the forums and ask, but that takes time. Because my life is so tech-heavy, I basically get hell for the heaven of my choosing.
Then there's another personal problem: my cat. She's been over-grooming if you want to call it that. It's more like she's a cutter. She's skinning her back with her bristly, cat-of-one-tongue. I've tried various ways of getting her to stop, de-fleaing her, of course, and changing her food and litter in case she's allergic. I've tried giving her canned food, on the theory she might be missing the flavor of real meat. Nothing works. Now she bothers me for food every morning like a real cat. Not only does skinning herself seem to give her no pain, but--being a cat--she has neither any empathy nor any understanding of it. Empathy is an evolutionary disadvantage to a pure carnivore species. It's very likely her compulsion literally hurts me more than it does her. After initially letting myself get very upset over it, I decided just to accept it. She'll do it. I don't take it personally anymore. However, it might still affect me unconsciously.
Other sources of stress arise from my own choices. It's usually some aggravating tech problem. They happen at a rate of at least every day. The recent example: my browser hangs after I wake up my PC in the morning. I usually run about a dozen windows at a time, so shutting it down and rebooting takes some time. I tried to find another remedy to it. I've traced it to my browser, not my router, nor my network card because other browsers work just fine. I still haven't found a remedy it, except by rebooting. I would go to the forums and ask, but that takes time. Because my life is so tech-heavy, I basically get hell for the heaven of my choosing.
The interruptions and distractions do wear on my disposition, unfortunately. It could make me very sour. They're raised my blood pressure and have given me insomnia again. Every time I've found a remedy that works for sleeplessness, the problem comes back. This time, however, I'm aware that I just can't lie still. Last night, I tried to stop twitching or kicking my legs, and not exaggerating at all, it was torture. I felt like I was tied up and needed to break loose. I'm trying some leg exercises before bed tonight. I hope that could take off some of the excess nervous energy.
But I most hope that a higher dose of the medication does take care of the residual symptoms. We'll see by next week. Given how other dosages have changed things, I am very curious to find out.
But I most hope that a higher dose of the medication does take care of the residual symptoms. We'll see by next week. Given how other dosages have changed things, I am very curious to find out.
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