The Arizona ninja recount is comedy relief

 If 2020 was an epic disaster, 2021 is already a historically significant year. First we had the insurrection, the pitched battle with police, Trump's banishment from social media, and the arrests of the insurrectionists. This was followed by the inauguration of President Joseph Biden, with its unsettling atmosphere of armed guards and unrest. Then we had the (first?) Derek Chauvin trial, with some of the darkest, most dramatic courtroom testimony in courtroom history. Right on the heels of that we had a whole rash of police shootings, including the first one where a an officer with 26-years of experience claims to have mistaken her gun for a taser. President Biden managed to get 200 million people COVID shots within the first 100 days of his administration. Recently, a judge said the CDC couldn't block evictions, which might cause a million people to go homeless. In case we didn't get the message from Trump the power crisis in Texas about what incompetent, indifferent government could accomplish. Oh, in there someplace, the COVID relief bill was passed.

Republicans have got to be frustrated that their "border crisis" can't get any attention, neither can their cancel culture message. All of those events are going to be fodder for the entertainment industry, but it's all either solemn, tragic and heavy.

That changed when the GOP got to work and have finally given the year some comedy material: behold, the Arizona Recount to find evidence of election fraud Trump declares is there, evidence that Sherlock Holmes couldn't find. This is done by a "not-at all-a-fly-by-night-outfit," Cyber Ninjas. Its Qanon company president is Doug Logan. His very recent job titles include, "Insurrectionist," and "Seditionist," and to Arizona Republicans, that makes him properly vigilant, if not exactly qualified.

He must have skipped Donald Trump's first lesson on running a fly-by-night, a form of enterprise in which Trump has had much experience, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka (which the Russians won't touch), Go Trump, and his crown jewel, Trump University. The first rule, violated by Trump many times himself because he can't help it: keep a low profile.

Just because Logan was at the insurrection and supported all of Trump's crackpot election fraud scenarios doesn't mean he can't make an impartial count. Given the fiasco, there's some question whether he can count at all. In this assignment, Cyber Ninjas doesn't have to slash computer viruses, assassinate hackers, and disarm spam bombs. On both counts, it's failing. Their getting sidetracked on checking ballot paper for traces of bamboo, a sign that Chinese have handled the ballots. It's unclear whether C-Nincompoops have employed anyone who can tell bamboo from pubic hair. They've also been using UV light, apparently looking for . . . semen or blood? Also, they've been warned by the justice department that contacting the voters to confirm their votes are correct (secret ballots) looks enough like voter intimidation to start an investigation.

All of this mission creep is leading to counting creep. They've only done 10% in 2 weeks, which means they'll finish sometime in September. I can't say how long the many other audits of ballots took, because they were done before I knew they were being done. The venue they're doing the count in has other events scheduled. Two more weeks, and it's probably over.

But while the C-Ninnies are making asses of themselves, they've spoiled the ballots and have created chain-of-custody issues. No other audit can be done of the presidential race in Arizona.

Yet, this dog and pony clusterfuck gives me confidence that the GOP is dying quickly. Forty years of believing their own propaganda, followed by a Trump lobotomy, has created a brain drain. Trump has a conman's talent for making people who listen to him dumber than he is. They're too dumb to hold on to power. At least, that's the theory I'm going with.